Indira Ganesan, Dreamflower, 2013
Sleeplessness comes when you least expect it, and yet, perhaps you consciously court it. Why else eat popcorn laced with your aunt’s special Sesame-cumin-dal powder, followed by spoonfuls of hazelnut chocolate? What matter it isn’t Nutella but organic, as is the popcorn and powder? Sunday before Monday, and you eat, in full knowledge, yet are still surprised to find it is half-past twelve, and in four hours –less, really–the alarm will go off, and you must get in a car and drive. You have disturbed the cats who were quietly slumbering as you tossed in bed to get comfortable, finally getting up to microwave a mug full of milk with saffron and honey, leading them to foolheartedly follow you to the kitchen, thinking they will be fed. You wonder why on earth isn’t the milk working, and you read an article about yet another person who has given up dairy, knowing you should not reach for the computer, but you really do want to know when the nasturtiums will bloom at the Gardner. It will be in April, but as long as you are there, in cyberspace, why not check what is happening at the MFA, the ICA, only you type in CIA-Boston, and get the wrong information, leading you to wonder if you are now on a list. You spent the morning having brunch with a table of interesting, vibrant women, and you came home to get caught up on work. You finished reading an article on Arundhati Roy, which leaves you feeling exhilarated and happy to be involved in novels, although you suspect she would disapprove of your work, although you hope she and a host of other South Asian writers, as well as the rest of the world, frankly, approve and exclaim over everything thing you do, for is that not why you secretly write to begin with? You drift off to sleep, having tired out your mind, knowing that the alarm will ring too soon, and of course, without fail, it does.
Indira Ganesan 
How this makes me chuckle! How familiar!
However, one woman’s hazelnut chocolate and popcorn with Auntie’s magic powder is another woman’s martinis and champagne. And how they do court sleeplessness and stream of consciousness cyber travels!
Time for a spring cleaning. I have signed up with Rebecca Wood for a diet consult. No Martinis… allowed. And, after the initial withdrawal crankiness, a night without the wine and spirits (sugar) and I sleep a long comforting late winter’s nap. And the mind switches to a more positive even-keeled mode.
Perhaps, without late night chocolate and popcorn, your mind will switch and you will suspect Arundhati Roy would approve of your work. Why shouldn’t she?
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I like that mind-switching tactic very much, old friend! I am going to think healthy meals instead of protein shakes. A bit of both, perhaps.
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I deal with insomnia on a far too regular basis! Even getting acupuncture for it. At least I’ve lost the edge of anxiety when I go to bed, and just take what happens. But that moment I wake and my mind is running headlong … I give up, eat my snack of graham crackers and almond-coconut milk and yes, read. I have a writer friend who has written about sleep and calls it sacred. I believe it is. :))
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Graham crackers are sacred too, but not as much as sleep…thanks, Dana!
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Haha! This is… so true xD
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Thank you, Celestial Equation. 🙂
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Happy to have read your post 🙂
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